A few months ago I saw the movie Remember Me in the theater. Honestly, I went to see it because Robert Pattinson is in it and it looked like a pretty good movie from the preview. What I wasn’t prepared for was the way it completely disrupted me. I was ready for a good story, but this one cut down deeper and impacted me so unexpectedly. And it was not a bad thing. I thought about that movie for weeks and went to see it again to try and put those disrupted pieces in me back together again. What was it about that story that got to me so much? I honestly don’t know, but I am glad it did. It made me think. It made me re-evaluate. I love that God made me so sensitive to stories.
I love it when God does that in my life. I don’t always love it at the time, but the pay off is always worth it. I get going in these patterns. Patterns of my normal. Patterns of my comfortable. Patterns of safety. And to be honest, I need disruptions. The emotion, confusion, pain, joy, and honesty of a holy disruption is necessary for our growth and dependence on God.
I feel really disrupted right now. In this year alone (2010) I have battled through a really hard decision and confrontation, quit a job, found a new job, found out my new job is ending, struggled through friendships, have dealt with intense loneliness, and have no idea what I want to do next. It’s been really difficult. I am disrupted. But I’m glad for it. I know that God is going to use this to do something major in my heart. I can already see it happening. God is giving me a new story to tell.
July 24th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Can’t wait to hear the ending.
Jeremiah 29:11